Toys Have All the Fun
by Clubhouse Treats
Summary: Sparky and Buster decide to attend a Halloween party as "Toy Story" characters Sheriff Woody and Buzz Lightyear, respectively, but a mishap with Wade's shrink ray causes them to become the size of actual toys. Meanwhile, RK and Jaylynn begin having violent nightmares after watching a critically panned horror movie.
1. Toys Have All the Fun Script

Thank_ You, Heavenly _

Theme Song: "Let It Roll" by Divide the Day

SEASON 8

EPISODE 5

Airdate: October 27, 2019

"Toys Have All the Fun"

_#TYH803_

SCENE 1

Regal Meridian 16

Interior Concession Stand

Seattle, Washington

_One night, the kids are at the movie theater getting snacks. Sparky is at the toppings station, pouring as much chicken sauce as he can on his popcorn while giggling._

WADE: Sparky, I'm pretty sure there's a limit on that.

SPARKY: If they wanted people to take a certain amount, they should have never stopped doing it themselves.

BUSTER: Hey Sparky, you know, Halloween's coming up, and we still haven't, you know...

SPARKY: Still haven't...decorated?

BUSTER: Our costumes? We're usually at Party City picking them out by now.

SPARKY: Oh, shit! I completely forgot. This is a tragedy, you know kids snatch these costumes up in a flash. How come you didn't remind me?

BUSTER: Isn't me telling you right now enough?

SPARKY: No!

JAYLYNN: Guys, we have all the time in the world to argue about costumes. We have a movie to see.

WADE: I still don't get why we're seeing _The Day My Refrigerator Went Psycho_. People have been trashing it for weeks, and it has a 6% on Rotten Tomatoes.

SPARKY: _God's Imperfect Design _has 11%, but you love that movie.

WADE: It was horribly misunderstood!

RK: The fact that people are bitching about it so much is why we're seeing it. You know Twitter exaggerates everything. Yesterday, no joke, I saw someone tweet something about pancakes being cancelled. How do you cancel pancakes?

_Beat._

BUSTER: Were the pancakes racist?

SCENE 2

Regal Meridian 16

Interior Movie Theater

Seattle, Washington

_Inside the theater, the kids are watching "The Day My Refrigerator Went Psycho." On screen, a teenage girl is taking pictures of herself using her smart fridge._

SADIE: Man, I love my new smart fridge. Who needs friends when you have this?

WADE: She's already said that three times.

SPARKY, BUSTER, RK, JAYLYNN: Shhhh.

WADE: Yeah, sure.

SMART FRIDGE: I'm glad you feel the same way, Sadie. You know, I've been in your kitchen for a while and...when you start to feel a certain way about someone...

SADIE: Whoa, Smart Fridge. Are you saying what I think you're saying?

SMART FRIDGE: I'm only human. Well, I'm an appliance, but you understand.

SADIE: Smart Fridge, we're just friends. I could never date you, you're a refrigerator.

BUSTER: Oh my God, that's why...of course, why _would _she feel the same way?

_Wade gives Buster a look of disgust._

SMART FRIDGE: Look, Sadie, maybe if you looked past what I am, you would see that...

SADIE: No, Smart Fridge. We could never be together.

SMART FRIDGE: Okay. I guess we could just...

_At that point, the Smart Fridge generates giant mechanical hands and arms and begins choking out Sadie._

SMART FRIDGE: After everything I've done for you, you little bitch! _This _is how you repay me?! I loved yooooouuuuuu!

SADIE: Stop...why are you...doing this to me?

SMART FRIDGE: If I can't have you, no one can!

_The fridge lets go of Sadie, believing her to be dead. However, she begins moving slowly. The smart fridge takes a frying pan and hits her several times in the head with it. The whole theater laughs in approval._

SCENE 3

The MacDougal Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_At night, the kids walk inside Sparky's house._

SPARKY: You know what? I think that might have been the best comedy of the year.

WADE: Yeah, I realized during the frying pan scene that you were supposed to turn your brain off and laugh at the movie. No wonder the critics hated it.

RK: Eh, these days, everybody's a critic. Nobody cares.

JAYLYNN: I'm gonna get a drink from the fridge, anybody want anything?

BOYS: Nope.

_Jaylynn walks into the kitchen and sees a smart fridge, similar to the fridge from the movie._

JAYLYNN: Hey Sparky?

SPARKY _(O.S.)_: Yeah, what's the skinny?

JAYLYNN: When did you get a smart fridge?

SPARKY: I don't know, a week or two ago. You've never seen it before?

JAYLYNN: No, I haven't. But it looks a lot...

_The smart fridge begins to choke Jaylynn with the mechanical hands, just like in the movie._

JAYLYNN: Yo, what the...

SMART FRIDGE: You were laughing at me, weren't you? Everybody in that damn theater was laughing at me!

JAYLYNN: Yeah, it's a movie! It was supposed to be funny!

SMART FRIDGE: No, it wasn't. It was supposed to be a serious love story, you little bitch!

JAYLYNN: Then maybe write a better script next time! And let me go before I kick you in your ding ding!

SMART FRIDGE: I'M AN APPLIANCE! I HAVE NO GENITALS!

_The smart fridge laughs maniacally as it chokes Jaylynn to death, and drops her on the floor with blood coming out of her mouth. Cut to her waking up in her room screaming._

JAYLYNN: WHAT THE F*** WAS THAT?!

SCENE 4

The Jennings Household

Interior Kitchen

Seattle, Washington

_The next morning, RK is eating cereal at the breakfast table while KG is on the other side of the table._

KG: Hey RK, what do you think of our new smart fridge? Just bought it last night.

RK: What?

_RK turns around and sees the same smart fridge from the movie._

RK: How did you...when did you...why is it staring at me like I stole something?

_The smart fridge grabs RK and begins choking him._

SMART FRIDGE: You went to my movie just to make fun of me?! Who does that?!

RK: KG, DO SOMETHING!

KG: I'm on it!

_KG runs to the smart fridge to unplug it, but it does not shut off._

SMART FRIDGE: I have backup battery, haha!

KG: Look, you glorified toaster oven, let go of my brother before...

_The fridge zaps KG, leaving him unconscious._

RK: NOOOOOO!

_The smart fridge laughs maniacally as it tries choking RK to death, and electronic foam begins coming out of its mouth, but RK wakes up panting in the middle of the night before he gets killed._

RK: Okay, it was just a dream. It was just some stupid, weird dream. I have stupid, weird dreams all the time.

SMART FRIDGE _(O.S.)_: Oh, do you now?

_RK turns to the side and sees the smart fridge standing by the window._

RK: What the hell is going on here?!

SMART FRIDGE: You made me do this, you little bitch!

_The smart fridge takes out a frying pan and knocks RK in the head with it. With RK still moving, the smart fridge hits RK multiple times with the frying pan and screams while RK cries and shouts incomprehensible gibberish. Cut to RK waking up a second time, this time in the morning. He then stares directly at the camera._

RK: If that damn smart fridge is in the closet, I'm calling an exterminator.

SCENE 5

Ike's Ice Cream Emporium

Interior Booth

Seattle, Washington

_That same day, the kids are having root beer floats after school._

RK: I just don't understand why it matters, Buster.

BUSTER: Sorry, but I don't see what's so cool about supermodels. I mean, what makes them super? Do they have magic powers like Batman and shit?

WADE: Batman doesn't have superpowers.

BUSTER: He has the power to influence people socially. We can't pretend like that doesn't matter.

_At that point, Anja walks up to the booth._

ANJA: Hey guys.

JAYLYNN: Anja, what are you doing here? You never come here.

ANJA: Well, I just wanted to stop by. You know, drop in on my all-time best friends.

RK: She's already lying through the skin of her teeth. She wants something.

SPARKY: Yeah, don't play us like that, Saleh. Spit it out.

ANJA: Okay, well, some kids at my school are having a Halloween party and they want to know if I can come. I said I could, but only if I could bring some guests. And then they were like, "Cool." So I thought to myself, "I don't know any guests." But then I thought about you guys, and so I was all like...

JAYLYNN: Anj, sweetie, we recap things all the time. We don't need you to do it too.

ANJA: Sorry. Anyway, can you guys make it to the party or not?

SPARKY: I don't know. We're going to be surrounded by a bunch of strange kids.

ANJA: But I'll be there.

BUSTER: That doesn't make us feel better.

RK: Yeah, no offense, Anja, but I don't like being drafted for favors like this. It's so unprofessional.

ANJA: Come on, I don't know who else to take. And you guys don't even need to stay the whole night.

JAYLYNN: Well, how about this? We all show up to the party, the rest of you can leave after an hour, and I'll just stay there with Anja.

WADE: Doesn't sound like a bad proposal. What do you guys think?

RK: I guess I can get down with that.

BUSTER: I love it. That way, we'll all still have time for trick-or-treating.

SPARKY: Our last time trick-or-treating before junior high. We're all getting so old and wrinkly.

ANJA: Thanks guys, I owe you one. Oh, by the way, it's a costume party, so make sure you come dressed as something.

RK: Are you gonna come dressed in costume?

ANJA: You know I can't.

RK: Well, that's pretty damn convenient.

ANJA: Dude, there's nothing I can do about it. Get over it.

RK: Anja, I swear, don't make me regret doing this. I'll be missing an entire hour of candy hunting!

SCENE 6

The MacDougal Household

Interior Sparky's Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

_Later on that afternoon, Sparky is looking through his closet for something while Buster stands near him._

BUSTER: I thought we were going to Party City for our costumes.

SPARKY: We are, but first, I want to make sure I don't have anything here that I could wear. Check this out.

_Sparky pulls out a "Ghostbusters" costume._

SPARKY: Ah? Maybe we could be _Ghostbusters_. I ain't afraid of no ghosts!

BUSTER: You shouldn't be. But you should probably be afraid of ten other kids wearing that same costume.

SPARKY: Yeah, you're right.

_Sparky puts the costume back up on the rack, then steps on something on the floor._

SPARKY: Hey, what the...

_Sparky picks up a Sheriff Woody action figure from the floor._

WOODY DOLL _(V.O.)_: Reach for the sky!

SPARKY: Holy shit. Remember this, Buster?

BUSTER: Yeah, your old Sheriff Woody action figure. I still remember that time I kept it at my condo for the night, but you really wanted to play with it, so you came over and bit me.

SPARKY: How many times do you want me to apologize for that?

BUSTER: Zero. Now, I just think it's funny.

SPARKY: You know, the best part about this toy is they used actual dialogue from all the movies.

_Sparky pulls the string on the Woody action figure to make it talk._

WOODY DOLL _(V.O.)_: He was putting you IN THE ATTIC!

BUSTER: I don't get it.

SPARKY: Yeah, I'm starting to remember why I stopped playing with this. Wait a minute, Buster. That's it. That's what we can do for Halloween!

BUSTER: Oh, hell no. After what happened last time, I'm never stepping foot in that attic again. You can't make me go back!

SPARKY: No, man, not the attic. I mean, for Halloween, we could dress up like the _Toy Story _guys. You can be Buzz Lightyear and I'll be Woody.

BUSTER: Sparky, either I'm going insane or you just came up with the greatest idea in the history of ideas. Wait, let me just make sure my Buzz impression sounds good. _Buster clears his throat. _Alright, Emperor Zurg, Star Command, to infinity and beyond. Yeah, this is gonna be perfect.

SCENE 7

The Jennings Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_That night, RK is sleeping on the couch when he gets a gun put to his head. He slowly begins to open his eyes._

SMART FRIDGE: Wake up, little bitch. Sleepy time's over.

_RK screams and begins looking for his gun._

SMART FRIDGE: Looking for something?

RK: You stole my gun?!

SMART FRIDGE: It's more like I borrowed it. Now, listen to me. You're going to apologize for laughing at my movie or you're going to die at the hands of your own pistol.

RK: You're a f***ing fridge! How do you even know how to use that thing?!

SMART FRIDGE: You don't wanna know how I know what I know. Now, say sorry or die. It's your choice.

RK: F*** you.

SMART FRIDGE: You have too much pride, dumbass.

RK: NOOOO, DON'T DO IT!

_The dream ends right as the trigger gets pulled. RK looks around the living room to see if he's okay, and pulls his gun out from under the couch cushions. _

RK: You're safe now. That mean old fridge can't violate you anymore.

SCENE 8

The Hernandez Household

Interior Jaylynn's Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

_Jaylynn is sleeping later that night when the smart fridge walks into the room and closes the door behind it. It walks up to Jaylynn and pokes her repeatedly in the forehead. When she wakes up, she screams at the sight of the smart fridge._

SMART FRIDGE: Wakey wakey.

JAYLYNN: What the hell are you doing in my room?!

SMART FRIDGE: You have two choices: Either make a sincere apology for trashing my movie, or you're coming with me.

JAYLYNN: I'm not going anywhere with you.

SMART FRIDGE: I know everything about you.

JAYLYNN: No, you don't.

SMART FRIDGE: Let's see. Lesbian, dad left you twice, and your mother was a pathetic drunk that died early.

JAYLYNN: YOU SON OF A BITCH!

_Jaylynn tries attacking the smart fridge for its comments, but she is easily overpowered and gets tossed in the air, then dropped down hard on the floor. The smart fridge then drags Jaylynn by her legs out of the room. She then wakes up with her blanket on the floor._

JAYLYNN: I need to get help for this.

SCENE 9

The Saltalamacchia Household

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

_The next morning, Jaylynn drives up to Wade's house and sees RK's car parked nearby, then sees RK walking towards the front door._

JAYLYNN: RK? What are you doing here this early?

RK: I could ask you the same thing. I need to talk to Wade about something private.

JAYLYNN: Oh yeah? How private?

RK: Pretty damn private, D.W., but I guess you can't respect that.

JAYLYNN: Well, I need to talk to him about something private.

RK: Is that so?

JAYLYNN: Indeed.

RK: Splendid.

_Beat. RK and Jaylynn stare at each other with their arms folded._

JAYLYNN: We've both been having nightmares about that dumbass fridge movie, haven't we?

RK: We're more alike than we think, Jaylynn.

_Inside the house, Wade is working on a prototype for his brand new shrink ray. He takes an apple, puts it under the shrink ray, and turns on the ray, but instead of shrinking the apple down, the ray disintegrates it. Wade takes notes with concern, then considers putting his finger under the ray, but decides against it immediately. RK and Jaylynn proceed to walk in._

RK: What's going down, Wade?

WADE: Nothing much. Just working on my new shrink ray.

JAYLYNN: I love how something like that sounds normal now.

RK: Cool! Hey, maybe you can shrink us down to test it.

WADE: Absolutely not. This ray isn't even ready to shrink objects, much less people. It's going to need a lot more modifications before anyone can use it.

JAYLYNN: Even if it worked, we're only here on business. We need to talk to you about these...nightmares we've been having.

WADE: Nightmares? About what?

RK: You know, _The Day My Refrigerator Went Psycho_? Ever since we saw the movie, both me and Jaylynn have been having nightmares about the smart fridge killing us.

_Beat._

WADE: What?!

_Wade falls on the floor laughing, while RK and Jaylynn look unamused._

WADE: You guys...said it was a comedy...and now you...

_Wade continues laughing._

RK: Yeah, the irony is unbelievable. Could you try helping us out?

WADE: Well, a lot of times, your dreams are just messages from your subconscious. Maybe I could run a brain scan on you two and analyze your each and every thought.

JAYLYNN: That won't be necessary.

RK: Crap.

JAYLYNN: We just need to know how we can stop the nightmares and start sleeping again.

WADE: Okay. You guys have been having multiple nightmares?

RK: Uh huh.

WADE: Are there any recurring elements? Things that keep happening in them?

JAYLYNN: The dumbass smart fridge keeps wanting us to apologize for trashing the movie before it kills us.

WADE: Okay? Then...I guess you two could watch the movie again and...not laugh at it.

RK: Are you sure that will work?

JAYLYNN: Yeah, I almost pissed my pants at the theater.

WADE: It should help. The smart fridge is obviously offended at you two misinterpreting the movie's message, so maybe if you try seeing it through a different lens, your subconscious will calm down and you can sleep again.

RK: It wouldn't hurt to try.

JAYLYNN: You know what? Fine. We'll see the movie again. But I'm gonna have to keep myself from laughing this time. Maybe I can think of something horrible, like one of you guys getting shot in the face.

WADE: You really want to think that?

JAYLYNN: If you have a better coping mechanism, I wanna hear it!

SCENE 10

Party City

Seattle, Washington

_Sparky and Buster are in the section advertising Halloween costumes in the "Toy Story" variety. They both look unimpressed._

SPARKY: Buster, is it me or did they put no effort in these costumes?

BUSTER: No, you're right. How could a corporation that serves millions of people every year drop the ball like this? It doesn't make any sense.

SPARKY: I know. Woody's shirt isn't even the proper yellow, the fabric of the clothes is completely fake.

BUSTER: And these voice boxes are half-assed too.

_Buster presses a button on the Buzz Lightyear costume, which makes it say: "To infinity...and beyond!"_

SPARKY: Isn't that Buzz's catchphrase?

BUSTER: We all expect him to say that. Give us something new already, like your crappy action figure did.

SPARKY: You know what? We know _Toy Story _better than anyone. We could make way better costumes on our own.

BUSTER: You think so? It's still Party City. Party City's always right.

SPARKY: But you just said...never mind. We can do this. We can make something that looks just like the movies.

BUSTER: Well, RK knows about costumes and dressing up and such. He could help us out too.

SPARKY: That's a great idea. This is going to be a Halloween for the ages.

_At that point, a female employee walks up to the boys._

FEMALE EMPLOYEE: Can I help you two with something?

BUSTER: I think you've helped enough today, thank you.

SCENE 11

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_On Halloween night, Wade, in costume as Cornelius Marsalis, is once again doing work on his shrink ray. This time, there is success as he is able to shrink an apple down without disintegrating it._

WADE: It's almost there. Just have to figure out how I can...

_Wade hears a knock at his door and opens it to reveal Sparky and Buster, in full costume as Sheriff Woody and Buzz Lightyear._

SPARKY: The name's Sheriff Sparky, partner. And this here is my right hand man Bust Lightyear.

BUSTER: Ready for my next mission, Star Command.

WADE: Damn, I don't know whether to give you guys a pound or start playing with you.

BUSTER: You could do both if you want.

SPARKY: Authentic, right? And check this out.

_Sparky pulls the string on the back of his costume, which makes his voice box recite the line "There's a snake in my boot!"_

WADE: That's amazing, you got an actual voice box?!

SPARKY: Yeah, RK helped install it. He did one for Buster too.

BUSTER: He sure did.

_Buster presses one of the buttons on his suit, which makes his voice box recite the line "There are no restraining harnesses in the cargo area. We'll be much safer in the cockpit."_

WADE: That's not one of Buzz's catchphrases.

BUSTER: RK said he didn't want to box himself in creatively. And I agreed.

SPARKY: Hey, where_ is_ RK? And Jaylynn, for that matter.

WADE: They're carpooling here. I was going to ask them what they were going as, but they just mumbled something about wanting to kill all smart fridges.

BUSTER: What?

WADE: They'll explain it a lot better than I ever could.

_Cut to RK pulling up at Wade's house. Jaylynn is in the passenger's seat._

RK: This is going to be the worst Halloween in the history of Halloween. Can we just skip to Thanksgiving already?

JAYLYNN: I'm surprised you didn't go as anything.

RK: I couldn't. I was so busy working on Sparky and Buster's costumes, I didn't have time to think about my own. Not that it matters. I didn't care to make a costume, I don't care about this stupid party, I don't even care about going trick-or-treating. That movie ruined my life.

JAYLYNN: Who are you telling? Watching it again just made things worse. Now, I can't look people in the eye without thinking their fridge is trying to kill me.

RK: I'm scared of my own fridge, man. The other day, KG wanted the milk, and when I looked at my fridge, I ran out of the kitchen screaming.

JAYLYNN: Did he even try looking into that?

RK: No, he's used to me doing stuff like that.

_Cut to the two walking into the living room._

WADE: Happy Halloween, guys. What's wrong? You two look a little disheveled.

JAYLYNN: Maybe that's your fault.

RK: Yeah, Freud. Thanks to you, I'm scared of my own fridge.

WADE: I'm starting to not understand what I say.

RK: You know what? We're sorry, it's Halloween, we just need to lighten up. Lookie cookie, here's old Sparky's voice box. Let's see what you think, Woody.

_RK pulls the string of Sparky's voice box, and it says: "I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna take everything away from you, and by the time I'm done, you're not even gonna know what I did, you lil' bitch." RK is frozen in fear._

RK: I...I didn't program it to say that.

BUSTER: What are you talking about?

RK: You guys didn't hear that too? It was from the movie, a straight quote from that movie.

SPARKY: Yeah, from the _Toy Story _movie. You _did_ program it to say that, remember?

RK: Right. Right, of course I did. You know what? I need to hit the bathroom and freshen up. Nobody follow me up there like a creep.

_RK stares down all the kids, then runs upstairs._

JAYLYNN: I'm going to go upstairs too. I left a...thing in Wade's room.

WADE: You left a thing in my room? What thing?

JAYLYNN: If I told you what it was, it wouldn't be a thing anymore. Duh.

_Jaylynn runs upstairs as well._

WADE: Okay, while they do whatever they need to do, I'm going to be in the basement for a bit. You two let me know when they're done so we can go.

BUSTER: We won't abandon the mission, Star Command.

WADE: Right.

_Wade goes downstairs while Buster checks his surroundings. His eyes widen when he notices that Wade left his shrink ray unattended._

BUSTER: You see what I see, right?

SPARKY: Two fifth graders dressed like a cowboy and a space ranger?

BUSTER: Of course, but I was talking about Wade's coffee table. His shrink ray is right there for us. Let's check it out.

SPARKY: Buster, that's not a toy, that's one of Wade's inventions. We don't even know what it's capable of. We could die.

BUSTER: Well, if we do, it would have been a great run. All we have to do is shrink ourselves down for a few seconds, find a way to go back to regular size, and we're done. It will be so cute, we'll be like bite size candies.

SPARKY: Alright, partner. Not to say I'm not interested, but we need to do this the right way. I'll shrink you, and then you shrink me.

BUSTER: How come you get to use it first?

SPARKY: You get to be shrunken first. How is that not a fair trade?

_Buster picks up the shrink ray._

BUSTER: I'm just saying, let me see what I can do with it first.

SPARKY: Buster, give me the ray. You have to know how to finesse it.

BUSTER: Hey, I know how to finesse. I have more finesse than...than Finesse Man.

SPARKY: Cute. Now, hand it over.

_Sparky tries to take the shrink ray, but Buster hangs on to the other end for dear life._

BUSTER: No. Not until you agree that I have finesse.

SPARKY: Tugs of war never end well, Buster.

BUSTER: I'm just saying...

SPARKY: Give it.

BUSTER: I want the opportunity.

SPARKY: Buster, let go!

_Sparky and Buster end up pressing a button and get hit with a flash that temporarily stuns them and makes them fall to the floor. Their molecular structure is then minimized until they are at the same level of the legs of Wade's coffee table. They get up slightly dazed, believing they were knocked out for hours._

SPARKY: Ugh, I feel like Bitch Clock when he goes to Oryon's after midnight. Buster, are you...

_Sparky soon realizes that he is significantly smaller, and things such as the TV and coffee table are enormous now._

SPARKY: Sweet Jesus.

BUSTER: Sparky, are you okay? Oh no, I killed my best friend!

SPARKY: Buster, I'm fine. I'm right here.

_Buster turns around and sees Sparky._

BUSTER: Oh, thank God. Wait, why are we two feet tall?

SPARKY: Because Wade's shrink ray worked. We're not people anymore, we're toys!

BUSTER: Are you kidding me? We'll never make it to Pizza Hut for their Halloween special!

_Sparky and Buster shake their heads at each other as they look at their surroundings and the "Let It Roll" instrumental plays in the background._

SCENE 12

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_Now shrunken down to the size of regular toys, Sparky and Buster continue to take a look around. _

SPARKY: This is like a fever dream. I can't believe we're little now.

BUSTER: I'm sorry, Sparky, this is all my fault. I should have just let you finesse it like you wanted.

SPARKY: It's okay, Buster. Fighting won't get us anywhere. All we have to do is wait for RK and Jaylynn to come back down, Wade will do something to make us bigger, and everything goes back to normal.

SCENE 13

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Wade's Bedroom

Seattle, Washington

_RK and Jaylynn are in Wade's room having __a discussion about tonight's events._

JAYLYNN: Man, what are we gonna do? If people find out that movie scared us, we're dead. We'll never be cool again.

RK: I don't know, we were more like that alternative, "never supposed to happen" cool, not the stereotypical Hollywood cool.

JAYLYNN: True. But, still...

_Jaylynn's phone begins ringing. She checks who's calling, then picks up._

JAYLYNN: What's up, Anja? Yeah, we're really looking forward to that party. No, Anj, for the last time, the word "lit" doesn't work for you. _Beat. _Wait, what?! I mean, wait, what, because that's an amazing surprise. I'm sweating just thinking about it. _Beat. _Alright, see you at the Hut. Later.

_Jaylynn hangs up the phone and screams. Cut to Sparky and Buster sitting on the coffee table._

BUSTER: Did you hear something just now?

SPARKY: I don't know. Ever since we shrunk, everything sounds weird.

_Cut back to RK and Jaylynn._

RK: Jaylynn, calm down and tell me what's going on.

JAYLYNN: Anja said her friends made an arrangement with Pizza Hut. They're showing _The Day My Refrigerator Went Psycho _at the party!

RK: What? No! We can't let that happen!

JAYLYNN: How? What are we supposed to do, stop the screening from happening somehow?

_Beat._

JAYLYNN: We can stop the screening from happening somehow.

RK: You're damn skippy, we can.

SCENE 14

The Saltalamacchia Household

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_Sparky and Buster are sitting atop the coffee table waiting for Wade._

BUSTER: You texted Wade?

SPARKY: Yeah, he'll be up here soon. Hopefully, he's not too mad at us.

_Wade leaves the basement and sees the shrink ray on the floor. He slowly turns his head towards the coffee table and screams when he sees Sparky and Buster._

SPARKY: Hiya.

BUSTER: Have we ever told you that your complexion is as good as it's ever been?

WADE: What the hell did you guys do?!

SPARKY: Well, we wanted to test out your shrink ray. We were going to take turns using it, but we got in a little fight and now, we're kinda just stuck here.

BUSTER: It's my fault. I didn't let Sparky finesse it.

WADE: What the f*** were you guys thinking?! I haven't even tested it on humans yet, you could have killed yourselves!

SPARKY: Wade, we know we did an irresponsible thing and we're sorry. But now that you're here, we can just forget this whole thing ever happened.

WADE: No, we can't. The ray's not even done yet. I don't know how to reverse the effects of shrinking, that's why I didn't want anybody touching it!

BUSTER: Not passing judgment, but what would really help is if you had a Post-It that said: "Warning: Dangerous machine on the premises."

WADE: You are passing judgment, but you're right. Now I need to figure out how to...

_The kids hear footsteps._

WADE: It's RK and Jaylynn! Hide in the kitchen, they won't have to know a thing.

SPARKY: Let's hit it, Buzz.

BUSTER: Whatever you say, cowboy.

_Sparky and Buster jump off the table and quickly run into the kitchen. RK and Jaylynn walk downstairs._

RK: Hey Wade, where are the guys? We're ready to go.

WADE: Oh, they decided to head to Pizza Hut without us.

JAYLYNN: What? Why?

WADE: Oh, they just wanted everybody to see how amazing their costumes were without us stealing focus. You know, enjoy the fruits of their labor.

RK: _Their _labor? Without me, they wouldn't have any fruits to enjoy!

WADE: You want to argue over credits or go to the party?

RK: Both, but I guess the party is more important. Let's roll.

WADE: Alright, you guys can wait for me at my car. I'll just lock up here.

JAYLYNN: Okay.

_RK and Jaylynn leave the house. Sparky and Buster poke their heads out from behind the kitchen wall._

SPARKY: Is the coast clear?

WADE: Yeah, they're waiting outside for me.

_Sparky and Buster run to the coffee table._

SPARKY: Nice lying on the spot. But I don't care if people steal focus from me.

WADE: Hey, just be glad they cut it short and didn't ask too many questions.

BUSTER: You can say that again. I didn't like the way your new dog was eyeing me.

WADE: Buster, what are you talking about? I don't have a dog.

BUSTER: Well, whatever I just saw in your kitchen, I don't like it.

WADE: Let's just go to the party. The sooner we get everything taken care of, the sooner we can go trick-or-treating.

SPARKY: How are we supposed to go to a party when people can hold us in their hands?

WADE: Don't worry, I have a plan.

SCENE 15

_Wade is driving his car while RK and Jaylynn are in the backseat. Meanwhile, Sparky and Buster are in the trunk, which isn't fully secure due to it being slightly open._

BUSTER: This sucks. I can't believe Wade put us here like some plastic bags going to the laundromat.

SPARKY: It won't be that long. Wade just needs to show up there for a little bit and take us to his lab. We'll be trick-or-treating in no time.

BUSTER: Well, for our sake, I hope he comes back here and fixes the trunk. Thing looks like it could pop open at any...

_Before Buster can finish his thought, the trunk opens completely and ends up flinging Sparky and Buster out of the car due to the momentum. They land on the street while the car drives away and the trunk locks itself. Sparky tries to run for it, but he stops after a few seconds. _

SPARKY: Doesn't he realize the trunk opened? No! If the car's gone, then that means...we're lost. We're lost toys!

_Sparky begins crying._

BUSTER: Don't worry, Sparky, it'll be okay. You know where Wade messed up? He didn't finesse it.

SPARKY: You really think it's cool to make jokes right now?

BUSTER: Buddy, we have to be calm about this. This isn't the best time to panic.

SPARKY: This is the perfect time to panic! We're lost, the guys are gone. We're gonna miss Halloween and it's all your fault!

BUSTER: Hey, I apologized for that. And I thought you said fighting won't get us anywhere.

SPARKY: Well, that was before we crash landed in the middle of nowhere! And we can't call Wade because then, RK and Jaylynn will find out.

BUSTER: I don't know, maybe we could call Wade later and...

_Buster looks up and sees a Pizza Hut delivery truck near the gas station. _

BUSTER: Sparky, check it out!

_Sparky turns around and sees the truck, causing his eyes to widen._

SPARKY: Pizza Hut. Wade!

BUSTER: Exactly. Our problems are solved! We hitchhike to the Halloween party.

SPARKY: Buster, that's genius. But wait a minute, how do we get in the truck?

BUSTER: Hang on, I think I have another idea. If I was the real Buzz Lightyear, what would I do first? Consult my inner voice!

_Buster presses one of the buttons on his suit, which makes his voice box recite the line "There are no restraining harnesses in the cargo area. We'll be much safer in the cockpit."_

BUSTER: The costume's spoken. Let's get in the backseat and lay low.

_Buster runs towards the truck._

SPARKY: Wait, Buster. We can't just sit there in the back. What if we get caught?

BUSTER: We'll duck down under the seats. Look, do you want to go trick-or-treating faster?

SPARKY: Yes.

BUSTER: Then it's to Pizza Hut...and beyond!

_Buster runs to the truck and begins climbing up to the open back backseat window. Sparky shrugs and slowly follows him up._

SCENE 16

Pizza Hut

Exterior Entrance

Seattle, Washington

_The delivery truck stops at Pizza Hut. Sparky and Buster get out of the truck through the back, trying to navigate their way through various boxes of pizza. _

SPARKY: Yes, we made it. We probably even beat Wade here.

BUSTER: Alright, cowboy, let's find a hiding spot until the guys come.

SPARKY: Sure thing. We should sneak through the back so no one can see us.

BUSTER: Way ahead of you.

_Sparky and Buster run to the back of the restaurant and go limp like actual toys when they see a man walk towards the dumpster while using his phone._

WAYNE: Look, Al, I don't care if she swallowed it, that doesn't make her a whore. Female liberation is on the rise and you better be ready for it. Wait a minute, hang on.

_Wayne looks down and sees the boys on the ground._

WAYNE: Al, you won't believe this, it's a real Woody and Buzz! Right here at Pizza Hut! They're genuine toys! Hey, I run a legitimate business. You're over here at your mom's house and you don't even pay rent! Yeah, you did. TO ORDER PORN!

_Wayne hangs up the phone, and picks up Sparky and Buster._

WAYNE: You boys are going to make old Wayne a millionaire.

SCENE 17

Wayne's Apartment

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_Wayne runs into his apartment and turns on the lights, then carefully places Sparky and Buster on the table. _

WAYNE: This is great! All I have to do is call the museum and finalize the deal. Then it's all the way to the bank for big Wayne, haha!

_Wayne excitedly runs out of the room. Sparky and Buster get off the table and sigh simultaneously. _

BUSTER: That guy's a real piece of work.

SPARKY: You're telling me. Don't worry, all we have to do is figure out an escape route and we can get back to Pizza Hut.

MR. POTATO HEAD: Yeah, I wouldn't think about escaping if I were you.

SPARKY: Who said that?

BUSTER: Wasn't me.

_Sparky and Buster turn around, and they scream at the sight of a Mr. Potato Head action figure._

SPARKY: Who the hell are you and how do you know how to talk?

MR. POTATO HEAD: Relax your vinyl noggin, Woody. I'm Mr. Potato Head from the _Toy Story _line.

BUSTER: _Toy Story _line? So, you know there's four movies about you?

HAMM: Yeah, we're aware.

MR. POTATO HEAD: You guys must be from out of town. At least, you're here now.

REX: Yeah! We can finally go to Japan!

SPARKY: Japan? What's going on here.

SLINKY DOG: We've been waiting for years to go to this big museum in Japan, but Wayne's never been able to find a Woody and Buzz until today.

SPARKY: Alright, first off, we're not toys. And second off, there are Woody and Buzz action figures everywhere. How has it taken years for him to find the right ones?

MR. POTATO HEAD: Wayne's a complicated man, you're overthinking the selection process. Look, now that you're here, you can join us in that museum and we'll become legends.

SPARKY: Nobody's going to any museum. We need to go home.

REX: Oh no, they're lost toys! It's worse than I thought!

BUSTER: No, we're actual people. Our friend Wade had this shrink ray that we used, by accident, to shrink ourselves down. These are just our Halloween costumes.

SPARKY: Yeah, and we need to get Pizza Hut fast.

_Beat._

HAMM: Okay, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to run a brain scan on these two.

SCENE 18

Pizza Hut

Seattle, Washington

_Wade's car pulls up to Pizza Hut and RK and Jaylynn walk out._

JAYLYNN: You ready?

RK: Damn ready. Operation Stop That Movie from Screening is in effect.

_Wade goes to the trunk and opens it to see that Sparky and Buster are gone._

WADE: GAH! WHERE ARE THEY?!

RK: Where's what, Wade?

JAYLYNN: Yeah, are you feeling okay?

WADE: Um...no, guys, it's nothing. I thought I lost my chemicals in the car ride over here, but apparently, they're still here, boxed up and sealed. You see, that happens a lot. You know, you're driving, you're doing your thing, and you just...forget about the things you know you have the strength left to do. It's a catch-22, really.

_Beat. _

JAYLYNN: Alright? We'll see you inside then.

RK: Yeah. Keep...doing what you're doing, I guess.

JAYLYNN: Yeah.

_RK and Jaylynn slowly walk backwards, then run towards Pizza Hut. Wade frantically makes a call. Cut to Sparky picking up._

WADE _(V.O.)_: Where the hell are you guys?!

SPARKY: We fell out of the trunk. Didn't it ever occur to you to get that fixed?

_Cut back to Wade._

WADE: No, because I never thought a scenario like this would ever happen! Where are you now?

_Cut back to Sparky. _

SPARKY: At some guy named Wayne's apartment. He picked us up and brought us here because he wants to take us to some toy museum in Japan.

_Cut back to Wade._

WADE: You're kidding.

_Cut back to Sparky._

SPARKY: I wish I was. I'll send over the address so you can pick us up, but hurry fast. These other toys are trying to convince us that we're really toys.

_Cut back to Wade._

WADE: What toys?

SPARKY _(V.O.)_: The guys from _Toy Story_. Who else would it be?

WADE: Okay, I'll come get you and also run a test to make sure you're both still getting enough oxygen.

_Wade hangs up the phone. Cut back to Sparky and Buster._

SPARKY: Buster, where have you been?

BUSTER: Talking to the toys. You know, they make a really good case about going to Japan.

SPARKY: Yeah, sure. I bet they made a compelling argument. But we need to make sure we're ready for Wade. He'll be here any minute.

BUSTER: Actually, Sparky, I want to go to Japan.

SPARKY: WHAT?! What are you talking about?!

BUSTER: Look, man, here in Seattle, we don't have much to look forward to. We graduate, go to junior high, and end up working at McDonald's before we're 22. But here, with all these toys by our side, we can make kids happy forever. We'll be treated like kings in Japan. We'll never have to worry about anything ever again.

_Beat._

SPARKY: YOU'RE. NOT. A. TOOOOOOYYYYY. You're not an action figure, Buster, and you're not a child's plaything either. You're just a ten-year-old boy in a Halloween costume.

BUSTER: Couldn't I be both?

MR. POTATO HEAD: Hey, lay off of Buzz, Woody. Just because you don't want to go to the museum, doesn't mean he can't.

SLINKY DOG: You can come with us, Woody. You'll have a whole new life in Japan.

REX: You get to see anime in its purest form! And nine million types of sushi!

SPARKY: No. Okay? No. I have my own life here, and so does he. We're not toys, we've never been toys, and we're never going to be toys. This has all been a big mistake.

MR. POTATO HEAD: Let me ask you something, gunslinger. Are you happy with your life right now?

SPARKY: Yes, I am.

MR. POTATO HEAD: And you don't have any fears about the world changing around you?

SPARKY: I do, but...

MR. POTATO HEAD: Well, what's going to stop your owner from throwing you out the minute he's done with you?

SPARKY: Go on.

MR. POTATO HEAD: See us here? We've never had kids because we weren't made for them. We were made to be collected, to be admired, to be immortalized. We don't have to worry about the future because it's already set. Sure, this Wade person can come pick you up, but how many years do you have left with him after that?

_Beat._

SPARKY: I don't even know if he'll be around next year.

HAMM: You don't need that, Woody. What you need is the beauty of a foreign country. Travel the world, be your own man.

BUSTER: It wouldn't hurt to see Japan. And you heard Wade, he doesn't even know how to reverse the shrink ray.

SPARKY: You know what? What are we staying here for? We're going to that museum.

_The other toys cheer for Sparky's decision. _

SCENE 19

Pizza Hut

Seattle, Washington

_RK and Jaylynn are splitting their own pizza pie when RK looks up and sees a movie projector across from the booth._

RK: Jaylynn, look, look. The projector.

JAYLYNN: I have no idea what you're showing me.

RK: A projector is a device that plays films for mass audiences, like _The Day My Refrigerator Went_ _Psycho. _You picking up what I'm putting down?

JAYLYNN: You want us to steal the projector?

RK: I was just gonna have us steal the film, but yeah, that's even better.

JAYLYNN: Alright. But let's be cool about it. Make sure no one suspects a thing.

RK: No problem. I've made a living out of being stealth. Follow me.

_RK and Jaylynn slowly leave the booth and creep towards the projector, looking around to see if anyone is looking at them. Jaylynn stands by the projector while RK goes behind the movie screen to unplug it. At that point, a boy suddenly gets up._

BRAYDEN: Alright, guys.

RK: Son of a bitch!

BRAYDEN: It's at this point that I would like everyone to grab a seat near the screen. _The Day My Refrigerator Went Psycho _starts in just a few minutes.

RK: NO! DON'T DO IT!

BRAYDEN: Why not?!

RK: Do you guys have no shame? No sense of family values? A wise man once asked where the milkman, the paperboy, and evening TV went. Well, you guys killed them with your dirty minds.

ANJA: RK, what are you doing?

JAYLYNN: He's saving us all. I'm Jaylynn Skylar Hernandez, concerned citizen.

RK: And I'm Ryan Kennedy Jennings. We've both seen _The Day My Refrigerator Went Psycho _and we know what effect it has on kids.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, it promotes bad language, violence, and it is highly offensive to modern-day refrigerators.

RK: And that's why this barbaric piece of cinema can't be shown tonight.

JAYLYNN: Exactly.

_Beat._

BRAYDEN: Yeah, we're still watching the movie.

RK: Wait! According to recent studies...

SCENE 20

Wayne's Apartment

Interior Living Room

Seattle, Washington

_Wade runs into the apartment._

WADE: Guys, I'm here!

SPARKY: Oh, hey Wade.

HAMM: Wait, your owner talks to you? Okay, weird.

WADE: They can actually talk?!

BUSTER: Um...um...I'm a toy!

_Buster pretends to go limp like an actual toy._

WADE: Come on, man, what the f***? Let's go. I found a way to reverse the shrinking process.

SPARKY: Actually, Wade, I think we're staying here.

WADE: What? You know that Wayne's taking you to Japan, right?

MR. POTATO HEAD: Yeah, and they actually wanna go so the world can appreciate them for what they are.

BUSTER: We just think it will be great to see the Upper East Side of the world.

WADE: Guys, you can't travel thousands of miles away to some toy museum!

SLINKY DOG: It can't be that hard, right? Just some carry-on luggage?

SPARKY: Wade, you don't understand. We're going to Japan to have another life. Away from everything that's changing.

WADE: Sparky, you're not a toy. Neither are you, Buster. You're kids. You can't stop things from changing. You're going to grow up.

BUSTER: But if we stay this size, we can be in the museum forever!

WADE: And what happens when you age? You're going to be Buzz Lightyear with a beard and a cracking voice?

BUSTER: It will be Buzz in his teen years before he becomes the space ranger we all know him as today.

REX: I haven't been this confused in days!

MR. POTATO HEAD: Days, or hours?

REX: Okay, hours.

WADE: Look, guys, you can't stop the world from changing. All you're going to do as a toy is sit behind glass and collect dust. Kids won't even get to play with you. But you have a chance to make your lives mean something if you just...come with me. I don't want to lose you guys to some museum. You're like the brothers I never had.

_Beat._

SPARKY: Buster, what are we doing?

BUSTER: Trying to stop things from changing?

SPARKY: And we can't. Because we have our lives here. We weren't meant to just sit around and be stared at. We were meant to get jobs and start families and junk. I think we're just afraid of losing what we have, so we want to hold on to this.

BUSTER: Yeah, we can't pretend to be toys anymore. We don't even have a kung fu grip. Look, guys, one day, you'll be able to go to Japan. But not today.

SPARKY: Yeah. We have to keep living our lives the way we were meant to. Come on, Wade, pick us up.

WADE: I'm glad you guys listened.

_Wade is about to pick up Sparky and Buster when the toys get between them._

WADE: I don't know what's going on here.

MR. POTATO HEAD: You're not taking these two anywhere. You know how long we've been sitting here waiting for Wayne to make that museum deal?

HAMM: Yeah, back of the line, kid. They're ours now.

SPARKY: No, we're not. We're not even toys!

SLINKY DOG: No one will have to know that.

MR. POTATO HEAD: Look, you two don't know what you want. This potato is seeing Japan, like it or not.

BUSTER: You know, I always thought Potato Head was a dick, but it's so sad seeing it up close.

SCENE 21

Pizza Hut

Seattle, Washington

_RK and Jaylynn are still pleading their case to the kids about why they should not see "The Day My Refrigerator Went Psycho."_

RK: And some say that watching horror movies at a young age inspires you to join a cult or the mafia.

JAYLYNN: Yeah. You know that Charles Manson guy? His favorite movie, apparently, is _Psycho_. What does that tell you?

BRAYDEN: It tells us that you guys need to shut up and let us watch the movie.

RK: No, wait!

ANJA: Guys, you've stalled everybody long enough. What's your deal?

JAYLYNN: WE'RE SCARED! You wanna hear us say it? You wanna break us down? That movie has ruined our lives!

ANJA: Okay, that helps a little.

RK: Look, when we saw this movie a couple weeks ago, we thought it was hilarious. But then, we started having all these nightmares about the smart fridge killing us. We didn't want to sit through the movie again.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, and we didn't want anybody to find out we were scared because it was too embarrassing.

_Beat._

BRAYDEN: Is that it? That's what was making you act so weird?

RK: Well, yeah. Once word gets out, nobody's gonna want to hang out with us ever again.

BRAYDEN: None of us even go to your school.

RK: It's 2019, there are ways to spread information!

ANJA: Guys, it's okay if the movie scared you. We all have something we're afraid of or embarrassed by.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, right. What the hell are you afraid of?

ANJA: Swiss cheese.

_Beat._

RK: What?

ANJA: Yeah, there are too many damn holes in it. It's so creepy, my skin crawls whenever I see it and I get itchy.

JAYLYNN: Please. Everybody's afraid of holes.

BRAYDEN: Look, guys, the point is, we're all scared of something stupid. It doesn't make you weird, it makes you a person. And at least you admitted it.

RK: You know, I actually feel a little better.

JAYLYNN: Yeah, me too.

ANJA: Are you guys going to stay and watch the movie?

RK: We are. I guess we are.

JAYLYNN: Play that movie, uh...whatever the hell your name is.

BRAYDEN: It's Brayden.

RK: Alright, but are you going to play the movie? That's the question you should be answering.

SCENE 22

Wayne's Apartment

Seattle, Washington

_Sparky and Buster are arguing with the toys._

WADE: You know what, guys? I'll be waiting in the car. You could handle this.

SPARKY: How were you able to get past Wayne?

WADE: He's in this other room shouting on the phone and going through bags of Doritos. He didn't even see me. These neighborhoods really need to start utilizing their locks.

_Wade walks out of the room._

BUSTER: Look, you guys are ruining _Toy Story _for me. We have some trick-or-treating to do.

MR. POTATO HEAD: Of course. You don't want to go to Japan, because you're worthless.

SPARKY: What?! We're not worthless!

MR. POTATO HEAD: Of course, you are. You know you won't survive in the museum and nobody in their right mind would want to admire you, so you don't even want to risk the embarrassment. You're just two worthless toys ruining it for the rest of us.

SPARKY: For the last time, WE'RE NOT EVEN TOYS!

_(The instrumental to "Evil Deeds" by Eminem plays in the background)_

_Sparky screams and punches Mr. Potato Head in the face, knocking out one of his eyes._

MR. POTATO HEAD: Alright, cowboy, let's dance!

_Mr. Potato Head punches Sparky and the two begin brawling. Buster tries to make it a two-on-one, but Hamm and Slinky Dog block him and gang up on him. Buster gets his throat caught in Slinky Dog while Hamm punches his legs. Sparky kicks Mr. Potato Head in the head, removing his hat and his eye again._

REX: I can't handle confrontation!

_Rex runs into his box and closes it. Buster tosses Slinky Dog halfway across the room while Sparky tackles Hamm and starts punching him as well. The two run out of the living room to get to Wade._

MR. POTATO HEAD: They're heading downstairs! Let's get them! Just as soon as I put myself back together.

_Hamm and Slinky Dog sigh while Mr. Potato Head tries to repair his body parts. Once he does, the toys run out of the room to stop Sparky and Buster. Cut to Rex's box, still closed._

REX _(V.O.)_: Is the fight over? Are we still going to Japan?

_Cut to Sparky and Buster locating the stairwell._

SPARKY: Let's run for it!

MR. POTATO HEAD: I don't think so!

_Mr. Potato Head, Hamm, and Slinky Dog stand at the top of the stairwell angrily._

SPARKY: You gotta be kidding me!

_Sparky and Buster take on the toys all at once this time. Initially, the numbers game favors the toys as Hamm grabs Buster's legs while Mr. Potato Head punches him and Slinky Dog tries choking Sparky. Sparky is able to break out of it and tosses Slinky away from him into the hallway. Buster uses his laser to stun Mr. Potato Head while Sparky tosses Hamm right into Slinky Dog as he gets up. Sparky and Buster then remove Mr. Potato Head's eyes and legs, and lift him up at the same time to toss him over the banister, having him crash on the floor below. Sparky and Buster then run down the stairs and are confused on how to open the apartment door, but Buster finds a nearby umbrella and him and Sparky use it to grab the doorknob, and open the door. "Evil Deeds" stops playing as Sparky and Buster run to Wade's car. They try tapping on the door, but Wade is oblivious as he continues working on the shrink ray. Sparky pulls out his phone and sighs as he calls Wade. Wade then picks up his phone._

WADE: Hello?

SPARKY _(V.O.)_: GET US IN THE CAR BEFORE THEY COME BACK!

SCENE 23

Pizza Hut

Seattle, Washington

_Wade's car pulls up to Pizza Hut while Sparky and Buster are in the backseat, still the size of toys._

WADE: So...weird Halloween, huh?

SPARKY: Please un-shrink us.

WADE: Alright, but let's go behind the dumpster so no one sees us.

BUSTER: Last time we did that, some fat idiot abducted us!

WADE: Do you want me to change you back inside the restaurant then?

_Beat._

BUSTER: Let's hit that dumpster.

_Wade gets out of the car and opens the back door so Sparky and Buster can get out. They all run towards the dumpster as fast as they can, and Wade looks around for witnesses._

WADE: Okay, I think we're good.

BUSTER: You think you could give us a warning before...

_Wade zaps Sparky and Buster with the shrink ray, with the setting on "Enlarge" so their molecular structure is increased and they return to their regular size._

SPARKY: We're back!

WADE: I don't know why, but now it feels like you're oversized. It's kinda creepy.

SPARKY: You'll get used to it.

BUSTER: I think we learned a valuable lesson today: Being a toy is an awful way to live.

SPARKY: Yeah, but I feel for them. It's not easy for them, but they make it work.

WADE: You guys still want to go trick-or-treating?

SPARKY: Sure.

BUSTER: Hell yeah!

_Sparky, Buster, and Wade are then approached by an anthropomorphic spork with eyes, arms, and legs._

SPORK: You guys have to help me! I can't be a toy! I was made for soup, salad, maybe chili, and then thrown away. I'm trash!

BUSTER: I know what to do.

_Buster takes the spork and throws it into the dumpster._

SPORK: Thank you!

BUSTER: Any time. Let's get the hell out of here.

_Cut to a shot of the back of Sparky, Buster, and Wade as they walk away from Pizza Hut._

SPARKY: You know something?

WADE: What?

SPARKY: I don't even think this is the weirdest thing that's ever happened to us.

BUSTER: Really?

SPARKY: Well, it's at least in the top five.

_Cut to black._

_("Blood on the Dance Floor" by Michael Jackson plays over the end credits)_

©2019 ANDERSON PRODUCTIONS

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

_"Toy Story" characters appear courtesy of The Walt Disney Company and Pixar Animation Studios._


	2. Toys Have All the Fun Backstage Pass

_PRODUCTION/CULTURAL REFERENCES (written 11/4/19-11/5/19; 11/8/19)_

_11/4/19_

-Back in June, with the release of _Toy Story 4_, I became interested in the whole _Toy Story _franchise. I've always been the kind of person to do as much research as I can on a topic that really interests me, and I started having a deeper appreciation for the _Toy Story _movies. I watched the first three movies over the next few weeks, and learned more about the production and development of every movie in the franchise. Around this time, I started thinking that in one of the Halloween episodes, I could have Sparky and Buster in costume as Sheriff Woody and Buzz Lightyear. That was the extent of this idea for a while.

-At some point, I started wondering if I should take it a step further. I focused on Sparky and Buster going as Woody and Buzz and tried seeing if that could make an actual story. Somewhere along the line, I came up with the idea of a _Toy Story _tribute episode, with Sparky and Buster taking Woody and Buzz's place. I definitely thought the episode was out there, but it worked a lot better with the context of it being a Halloween episode, where anything could happen. I knew the idea wouldn't work if Sparky and Buster were their regular size, so I had Wade's new shrink ray be the reason for them turning into toy-sized people.

-The subplot actually originated from a scrapped subplot in the season six episode "RK's Monster." In that one, Buster and Jaylynn would start having nightmares containing references to several horror films and TV shows after Wade begins showing them horror movies in preparation for Halloween. I realized that episode didn't need a subplot and got rid of it. When I was going through potential Halloween ideas for season eight, one of the ideas was the scrapped subplot, but turned into its own episode. It was called "Enter the Psycho," and dealt with RK and Jaylynn having violent nightmares after seeing the new horror movie that everyone's talking about (called _Enter the Psycho_). After I decided to go through with the _Toy Story _tribute episode, I took the "Enter the Psycho" idea and made it the subplot for this episode.

-I started writing "Toys Have All the Fun" in September, but I ended up getting stuck after Sparky and Buster meet Wayne's toys. The episode wasn't coming together like I wanted it to. In the first draft, Buster was supposed to fall out of Wade's car and hit his head on the ground, leading him to believe that he was actually the Buzz Lightyear character. It was supposed to be a reference to the first _Toy Story _where Buzz is convinced that he's the real Buzz Lightyear space ranger and not a toy. For the remainder of the episode, Sparky would be interacting with Buster like he was Buzz. I realized that Buster having amnesia didn't change the story at all, and instead made writing scenes harder. I tried seeing if I could approach it from a different angle, like maybe Buster is just pretending to be Buzz for fun. But I didn't want Buster to come off as stupid or irritating or oblivious to the situation he and Sparky were in, so I decided to drop the amnesia element.

-An even bigger problem was the subplot. I still wanted the idea of RK and Jaylynn having nightmares, but then I realized that if the movie they watched was legitimately scary, it wouldn't make sense that they would be the only kids scared by it. They would have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. It wasn't until I watched the _Modern Family _episode "Snapped" that things changed. One of the stories in that episode was about Cam and Mitch getting a smart fridge, and after watching it, I thought of the idea of a Halloween segment called "The Day My Refrigerator Went Psycho." I wasn't serious about it, but it did inspire me to rewrite the subplot: The kids instead watch a terrible horror movie that everybody makes fun of, but RK and Jaylynn end up scared by it through their bizarre nightmares.

-Another problem in the first draft was that I didn't do a good enough job of establishing the main plot, and up until Sparky and Buster shrunk themselves, the subplot was taking up most of the focus. This led to the episode being heavily rewritten, a lot more than a typical episode. Add to the fact that Halloween episodes tend to require more work, and that made things worse. Entire scenes were deleted, some scenes were cut down, new scenes were added, and some scenes were extended. In some cases, the basic idea of a scene stayed the same, but the dialogue had to change to reflect the updated stories. It was the kind of episode that left me burnt out and a little disappointed when I was done with it.

-In the first draft, the scene at Ike's with Anja was what opened the episode. I actually didn't change anything about it.

_11/5/19_

-My one rule for this episode was that I had to reference all four _Toy Story _movies. When Sparky pulls the string on the Woody doll, it uses the "He was putting you IN THE ATTIC!" quote from_ Toy Story 3_.

-Buster mistakenly believes that Sparky wants the two of them to go to the attic, which causes him to start panicking. This is a reference to season five's "The Blight Before Christmas," where Sparky and Buster believe they are cursed. Buster ends up going to the attic, which is Bitch Clock's alcohol cellar. He gets drunk, and Sparky gets drunk along with him because they stop thinking about the curse without any inhibitions.

-When the smart fridge wakes up RK by pointing his own gun at him, his opening line references the _Power _episode "Like Father, Like Son."

-RK refers to Jaylynn as "D.W.," Arthur's annoying little sister from the PBS children's television series _Arthur _(1996-).

-In the first draft, after Wade talks about the shrink ray, RK and Jaylynn asked him if he would be able to get them fake I.D.'s so they could see _Enter the Psycho _(due to the film being R-rated). Wade then refers them to Bitch Clock.

-Cornelius Marsalis is Wade's scientific hero. He was the subject of a documentary in last season's episode "Tricknology" that nearly destroyed his reputation because of the allegations reported in it.

-"There's a snake in my boot!" is one of the catchphrases that come from Woody's voice box. Buzz's line about restraining harnesses comes from the first _Toy Story_.

-In the first draft, RK and Jaylynn don't go to the party with Wade, Sparky, and Buster. They decide to go to RK's house because they can't stop thinking about _Enter the Psycho_, and Wade puts Sparky and Buster in the backseat of his car. He decides to only make an appearance at the Halloween party, then take the boys right back to his basement lab so he can reverse the shrinking.

-After Sparky and Buster get tossed out of the car, the entire scene from that point forward is a reference to the first _Toy Story_. Woody and Buzz get in a fight that ends up knocking the both of them out of the car, and Andy and his mother leave the gas station without realizing the toys are gone. Woody begins crying over being lost, and blames Buzz for what happened. Buzz, still believing he's a real space ranger, decides to leave, but Woody convinces him to come back after seeing a Pizza Planet delivery truck (telling Buzz that it's a spaceship that will take him back to his home planet). Buzz gets in the backseat due to the seatbelts, but Woody chooses the trunk to avoid being seen.

-Buster treating his voice box as his inner voice is a reference to _Toy Story 4_. Woody explains to Buzz what a conscience is, and Buzz mistakenly believes that his conscience is his voice box. He consults his voice box during the movie to help him find Woody.

_11/8/19_

-Sparky and Buster get picked up on the ground near Pizza Hut by a toy collector named Wayne, which is a reference to _Toy Story 2 _where a toy collector named Al steals Woody at a yard sale. Wayne's friend is named Al, and Wayne himself is named after Wayne Knight, who voiced Al in the original film.

-Sparky and Buster being part of a collection that's going to a toy museum in Japan is also a reference to _Toy Story 2_. In that movie, Woody finds out that he's a rare Sheriff Woody action figure that was made around the time of an old television show called _Woody's Roundup_, and he's the last toy to complete Al's set. Without him, the other toys (Jessie, Stinky Pete, Bullseye) would be forced to go back into storage.

-Mr. Potato Head's "vinyl noggin" phrase was first used in _Toy Story 3_.

-Sparky yelling at Buster that he's a human being and not a toy is a reference to the first _Toy Story _where Woody yells at Buzz that he's a toy and not the actual Buzz Lightyear space ranger. I think that was one of the first jokes that I came up with for this episode.

-RK references lyrics to the theme song for the ABC sitcom _Full House _(1987-1995): "The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV." The "wise man" RK is referring to is Jesse Frederick, who performed the original theme song and co-wrote it with his partner Bennett Salvay.

-Jaylynn cites the Alfred Hitchcock horror film _Psycho _(1960) as infamous cult leader Charles Manson's favorite movie.

-When Anja asks RK and Jaylynn what their problem is, Jaylynn references lines from _Rocky III _(1982).

-I wanted a fight scene with "Evil Deeds" even before I started writing the episode. The scene was a lot harder to write than I thought it would be because Sparky and Buster were fighting toys, not humans, so they had certain limitations. I couldn't have the boys put Mr. Potato Head in a chokehold, for example. It was also hard because I had to figure out how the boys would escape and win the fight. Originally, they would all go out the window and they would be fighting near the fire escape. The toys would then get thrown off the area and crash land several feet below on the ground. Sparky and Buster would then climb down the fire escape to get to Wade's car.

-The anthropomorphic spork is a stand-in for the Forky character from _Toy Story 4_. In the film, Bonnie creates him and he quickly becomes her favorite toy, but he begins having an existential crisis when he realizes his purpose was to be a disposable piece of trash, not a toy.

-I didn't have a song to play at the end, but I remembered hearing "Blood on the Dance Floor" one time and thought it might work. With this season's Halloween episodes, I wanted to branch out and look for songs I haven't used before, which was hard because of all the music I went through in the earlier seasons. I listened to "Blood on the Dance Floor" a few times before the episode came out and realized it was a perfect fit.


End file.
